Tidbits of Kayaking Philosophy
by Rene' Des Cartwheels
(Compiled by: Roger W. Lynn)
Berg's Law of Rolling:
I roll, therefore I am.
The Beginner's Mantra:
I didn't roll, therefore I swam.
Fichter's Law of Playing:
I surf, therefore I am.
Reuman's Law of Aging:
I endo, therefore I am.
Kielkopf's Law of Number 2:
Sometimes you play the hole, sometimes the hole plays you.
Knapp's Law of the New Year:
The water temperature, air temperature and combined IQ of the kayakers
is less than 100.
You will backendo at the most inopportune time and with the most
Jansen's Law of Springtime:
Sometimes you just have to turn over and smell the fishes.
Mast's Law of Infinite Reversal:
A wave is just a wave, but holes suck.
Lynn's Law of Paddles:
It's hard to roll with half a paddle.
Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.
Murphy lives in rapids.
The best put-in is always on what someone thinks is private land.
Damn the Corps of Engineers!
Beware rapids with photographers at the ready.
Bill's Law of Kodak Courage:
The willingness of a paddler to run a nasty drop is directly
proportional to the number of cameras present.
Murphy's Corollary to Bill's Law:
The probability that a paddler will crash and burn in a rapid
is also directly proportional to the number of cameras, and the
number of good shots taken is inversly proportional to the quality
of the run.
A hole by any other name still sucks.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can run today, the water might go
Instructor's Law of Training Camp:
Beginners will always lean upstream at the least opportune moment.
Barnhardt's Law to Scouting:
A rapid is rated as class III plus the number of times you have to
take a leak while scouting.
And always remember:
Murphy was a kayaker.