Tidbits of Kayaking Philosophy

by Rene' Des Cartwheels
(Compiled by: Roger W. Lynn)

Berg's Law of Rolling:
	I roll, therefore I am.

The Beginner's Mantra:
	I didn't roll, therefore I swam.

Fichter's Law of Playing:
	I surf, therefore I am.

Reuman's Law of Aging:
	I endo, therefore I am.

Kielkopf's Law of Number 2:
	Sometimes you play the hole, sometimes the hole plays you.

Knapp's Law of the New Year:
	The water temperature, air temperature and combined IQ of the kayakers 
	is less than 100.

Marnie's Law:
	You will backendo at the most inopportune time and with the most
	entertaining results.

Jansen's Law of Springtime:
	Sometimes you just have to turn over and smell the fishes.

Mast's Law of Infinite Reversal:
	A wave is just a wave, but holes suck.

Lynn's Law of Paddles:
	It's hard to roll with half a paddle.

Murphy's Law:
	Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.

Fitz's Corollary:
	Murphy lives in rapids.

Alesch's Law:
	The best put-in is always on what someone thinks is private land.

Baker's Law:
	Damn the Corps of Engineers!

Regan's Law:
	Beware rapids with photographers at the ready.

Bill's Law of Kodak Courage:
	The willingness of a paddler to run a nasty drop is directly
	proportional to the number of cameras present.

Murphy's Corollary to Bill's Law:
	The probability that a paddler will crash and burn in a rapid
	is also directly proportional to the number of cameras, and the
	number of good shots taken is inversly proportional to the quality 
	of the run.

Shakespear's Law:
	A hole by any other name still sucks.

Thomas's Law:
	Never put off until tomorrow what you can run today, the water might go

Instructor's Law of Training Camp:
	Beginners will always lean upstream at the least opportune moment.

Barnhardt's Law to Scouting:
	A rapid is rated as class III plus the number of times you have to
	take a leak while scouting.

And always remember:
	Murphy was a kayaker.